This document was found near the Tyrangel message tree. It is written in the style of Haran Roeh, but, without knowing where it came from, in cannot proven to be a lost piece of Haran's diary. It is interesting, however, so I'm keeping a copy.
This document was found near the Tyrangel message tree. It is written in the style of Haran Roeh, but, without knowing where it came from, in cannot proven to be a lost piece of Haran's diary. It is interesting, however, so I'm keeping a copy.
Amaris
So there we are - me, the Lad, the Big D, Kallendar, and some lad Milord Drax has working for him what goes by the name of "Sticks." (Again, I ask, where do I find these people?) Freaking giant Fire Ants everywhere, eating all the people, stealing their sugar, eating Larker’s supply of honey for the BBQ, making him all puffy, eating all the buildings, like who knew they could be eaten? Even high explosives will not take those babies out, but apparently the jaws of the Fire Ants over there (oh, "mandibles," he says, pardon me) is as sharp as well, it is as sharp as something that will chew through anything. Skip that part. The point is, we are there on one of the dark roads in Wilderwood, not "Ambush Alley" as the lads call it, but the other one. The one that really has all the ambushes on it except when it is me what is doing the ambushing. Why is it that every time I am walking along that road minding my own business, just trying to skulk from one place to another without being seen, I run into the grand picnic march of the Fire Ants or some freaking spring parade of the Fey, and you know how I love them. But if it is me and the Lad out there waiting for someone, waiting for anyone, waiting for EVERYONE, does anyone walk by? No. I could post a sign at the edge of the trail that says, "Detour! Dangerous giant freaking sugar-stealing Fire Ants this way! Turn Back!" and not one single adventurer or even one of those scavenger clams would as much as sniff in our direction.
So out of nowhere he says, he says, "Nice night for a walk," so we all stop. Sticks over there gets a bit edgy. Not like me, I am the very picture of calm. Oh yea, definitely calm, definitely as I proceed to slam into Milord Drax’s back because I cannot see a freaking thing and I am busy looking for the socks what this disembodied voice just scared me out of. But the Big D is real cool, oh yea, you could have killed 60 or 70 thousand giant Fire Ants just with the cool coming off of the Grand Magician on High over there. He just says without a missing a beat, "I am in a hurry," he says, "Let us just get on with it, then. What do you want, a toll?" A toll, he asks! I thought I was going to die. All them stupid trolls and freaking mudbog men setting up them stupid toll bridges down near that hill and here is one in Not-Ambush Alley. The Big D could no doubt just exhale with a little gusto and that is the end of that debt, oh yea, but no, he is real polite and just says, get this, he says, "How much do you want?" Now that is generosity, milord!
That is when this real whispery voice what I still can’t see where it is coming from leans in real close so I can feel the hairs standing up from the bad breath, I can, and it says to Milord Drax, it says, "I crave not gold, sorcerer." So that is when we know we have a real character on our hands here. Whatever it is, it knows it is talking to the Master of Matter and Motion over there, the man with the plan, the sorcerer with the more-ser-er -- okay, forget that one too. Whatever this thing is, though, it knows it is dealing in the big hand now and all garlic breath over there can think to whisper for its last words are, "I am hungry for life."
I could not take it anymore. I had had enough. Hungry for life? Who is this thing kidding? I lost it. I just totally lost it - in front of Milord Drax, in front of the Lad, in front of Sticks the Twitchy, and although I did not know it at the time, in front of a raiding parade of Fire Ants what had crept up behind us. You would think it would be easy to notice a line of giant freaking sugar-chomping Fire Ants all marching in single file, but no! Not these. Silent as night and twice as invisible.
So before I know it, I am standing face to face with some undead Thing what was not going to bumping in the night for much longer, and I am yelling my head off, I am yelling, "Hungry for life?! That is the best you can think to say?! You must have been waiting out here for someone to walk by for hours. I mean, you must have had to listen to the sounds of battle and adventure, and the roof of that tavern caving in when the Queen Mother Fire Ant busted in for tea and sweetcakes, not the mention the apoplectic screaming when they stole fat boy’s honey pot over there, but you ignored that, hoping to get a juicier catch out here. Now you get to meet THE Drax Darshiva, the greatest sorcerer what ever lived - and friends, BIG friends, I might add - and the best thing you can think of to say is, ‘I am hungry for life.’ Well, you sure are, buddy! Here is a gold piece, pal. Knock yourself out and buy three or four clues for they are cheap!"
And I will swear this is true until my last dying day, I just pushed right past the Thing and kept on walking down the road. It, Milord Drax, the Lad, Kallendar, Sticks, the Fire Ants were all stunned. For what seemed like about a month, nobody did or said a thing. I cannot even imagine the looks on their faces as the Thing and the Big D just stood there toe to toe blinking at each other, not to mention whatever the Attack of the Honey Thieves over there were thinking.
Aw, forget it. I have had enough. Hungry for life? Hungry for a clue is more like it. . . .