1. The Countess is always right.
2. If the Countess is wrong, it is not necessarily your job to tell her so.
3. If the Countess is wrong and is about to get you killed, you may respectfully give her the information she is lacking.
4. There are no good fey.
5. There are precious few good cosmicly powerful beings.
5a. Balthazar is one of them.
6. Relax. They're not all out to get you. They're all after Tiger and Amaris.
7. Do not chase a greater vampire into the woods unless you're sure you can take it. Otherwise, the rest of us get poison ivy trying to find your body for a Life spell.
8. Don't beat down unlocked doors.
9. Squires are required to study the Code of Chivalry because it makes us look good.
10. The rest of you, put that damn code down and study your alchemy. What do you think this is, Wulfshire or something?
11. No dueling inside the County without express permission from the Countess, which will be extremely difficult to get.
12. Watch your back.
13. Don't drink anything that glows in the dark.
14. If it's magical, powerful, and we don't understand it, it should be destroyed.
15. If the primary caster in a formal magic ritual says, "Uh oh"... Leave the area.
16. Don't share everything you know with everyone you know.
17. Knowledge is power.
18. Never trouble Trevor 'til Trevor troubles you.
19. Pay attention.
20. Stay together unless ordered otherwise.
21. No double dipping.
22. Always pump them for information before you think about killing them.
23. It's okay to skip rule #22 if they attack.
24. Always assume that Chadim will bypass rule #22.
25. The farther away Evil is, the more neutral it becomes.
26. Be nice to Foxthorn.
27. No squealy girls.
28. Be polite.
29. Do not wear a kilt without shorts.
30. Raise the toilet seat.
31. Know when to keep your mouth shut.
32. NO Milo plans.
33. Always search the Sorcerer King.
